I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
