there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
