took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
