there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
