brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
