apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
