Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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