just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
His nipple licking is glorious
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