So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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