She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Randomize
