dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
