If i come over, it means nothing
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i just made my gag reflex go away.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
