Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Randomize
