In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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