my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Congratulations! We have a period
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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