Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
