Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
