I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
You dont lie about slip and slides
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Randomize
