please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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