nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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