Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Randomize
