Well douche your snatch and let's go!
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Randomize
