I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
He did a backflip because drugs
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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