and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
