My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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