Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
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