Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Randomize
