no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
