Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
this hospital has no fireball
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
