Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
