She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
