Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
