Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
