you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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