Can Purell be used as lube?
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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