# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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