and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
