Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize