But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
You made out with two different species that night
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
