like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
