Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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