i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
