She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
