i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
