Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Randomize
