You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Randomize
