omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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