Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
