Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
