Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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