she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
