if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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