shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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