that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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