not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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