Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize