Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
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My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.