At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
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i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
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Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
my poor anus
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high