I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup