I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
