I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...