where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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