1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
