I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
You are a genius and a whore.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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