dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
it's like iHOP with fire
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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