I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
