i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
