sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
